


I Owe Ya One

by Lingeringchaos



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underfell (Undertale), Bad Puns, Children Swearing, Edge has no chill, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, Foul Language, Kedgeup, M/M, Multi, Red is not paid enough, Sans has no sense of self preservation, Sans is a Little Shit, Sans might have a death wish, Shenanigans, Slow Burn, SpicyKustard, Underfell Papyrus (Undertale), Underfell Sans (Undertale), kustard - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2019-11-14 19:05:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18058277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lingeringchaos/pseuds/Lingeringchaos
Summary: Sans wakes up in another universe. Unfortunately for Sans he's pissed off the locals including the Edgy Mc My Chemical Romance reject of his brother who happens to be the captain of the royal guard. Not to mention  his own grumpy doppelganger. Oops.





	1. Strip

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ZionKilse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZionKilse/gifts), [TheTrueMultishipper](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTrueMultishipper/gifts), [Wayward_Enigma](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wayward_Enigma/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This a gift to the amazing Zionkilse my life partner and co-writer, the wonderful E, and fantastic Lissy! I tortured you all with a slow burn from hell from my other fic Saving Papyrus, so I thought I'd make up for that slow burn by gifting you some SpicyKustard.
> 
> ...
> 
> WHAT THERE IS NOT SLOW BURN TAGGED IN THE TAGS. YOU SAW NOTHING.
> 
> *hides under a rock*.

Sans woke with a start, his cheekbone peeling off his sentry station leaving a slight sting in its wake. Grumbling, Sans rubbed at his cheekbone with his knuckles, quite certain he now had the pattern of his wooden sentry station semi-permanently imprinted on it. Sans yawned blinking out blearily at the quiet forest around him and he frowned. It was a lot darker than it should be, and colder than usual. He could see his breath, which usually wasn't the case. The artificial lighting was as dim as it usually was for evening. Stars, how long had he been asleep? He had just rested his sockets for a minute! Well, okay, maybe two.

Sans rubbed his sockets reaching under the counter for his ketchup and his permanent grin twitched into a real one as his hand closed around a bottle.

Sans took a greedy sip before his eyelights guttered out in horror. Gagging, Sans promptly spit the foul sour condiment out. _That wasn't_ _ketchup._

Sans groaned, spitting into the snow and he wiped his mouth, glaring at the _yellow_ bottle in his hand. Mustard?

Huh. That was a good prank, but who had pulled it? Maybe Snowdrake but it seemed unlikely. That comedian tended to stick to verbal jokes not physical pranks. Pranks tended to be Sans's specialty.

“Sans, you asshole!” A voice called and Sans nearly fell off his stool. It wasn't often someone came all the way out here to visit him, except Paps, and his bro was never so verbally aggressive.

Sans gave a suspicious look down the road to find Punk Hamster approaching him and boy did he look worse for wear. Instead of his usual cool sunglasses he sported an eye patch reminding him of Undyne. His fur was matted and he had some heavy scars, one spanning across his face, and one that looked like claw marks over his arm.

“Sans you motherfucker, _where_ is the gold ya fuckin’ owe me-...” Punk Hamster came to an abrupt stop staring at Sans incredulously.

“You're not Sans.” The monster said with a frown, bristling. Sans blinked raising a brow bone at Punk Hamster.

“Buddy, maybe you've lost your _Sanses_. I'm Sans, but I don't owe you gold.” Sans said. Sans kept a list of all the monsters he did owe gold with the intent to never pay them back and Punk Hamster wasn't one of them. Except Grillby. He'd pay Grillby back one day.

Punk Hamster looked him over and Sans froze as he felt a check run over him.

“ _Hey._  Ya really shouldn't be checking me out!” Sans said, his grin taking on more of a grimace. They weren’t in a battle, it was just rude to check a monster like that.

“Heh. I don't know where you came from _buddy._ ” Punk Hamster said taking on a wicked looking smirk. “But I'm fixin’ for some EXP and you look free.”

Sans side stepped into a shortcut just as a wave of red magic pellets shot where he had been. Killing intent was rolling off of Punk Hamster in waves and Sans stared at him in disbelief. 

Punk Hamster smirked sending another wave of pellets at Sans, skipping his turn entirely. Sans dodged again. _Even the kid let him have turns._ The only person he'd ever known to cheat at a battle was himself. Sans found himself dodging again and again unable to get an attack off with Punk Hamster’s endless onslaught pellets charging at him with no end in sight.

“SANS!” A shrill voice yelled sounding almost like Papyrus, but, it was far too angry to actually belong to his brother. Sans didn't really have time to give the new monster any attention as he was too focused on dodging.

Punk Hamster’s attacks however came to an abrupt stop as the monster cursed. Sans blinked in surprise as Punk Hamster bolted down the road.

He didn't get very far.

Red bones burst from the ground around him and caged him in, preventing his escape. Sans felt another check run over him and he turned to glare at the new monster and he felt his eyelights gutter out in disbelief.

It was Papyrus, but it _wasn't._ The look alike was a fair bit taller than his own brother, and had sharp shark like teeth. He had a scar running through his left eye socket and his eyelights were a bright crimson. He adorned real armor, unlike Papyrus's battle body. He had an obsidian chestplate complete with pointed shoulder pads, tight leather black pants with a belt with a skull, and long red heeled boots. Sans wasn't sure how someone could look both intimidating and like they'd stumbled out of a bad human S&M  porno but here he was, expanding Sans's mind to new possibilities.

The sharp Papyrus look alike gave Sans a condescending look, as if Sans was something disgusting he'd found on the bottom of one of his ridiculous boots. The skeleton looked away from him at Punk Hamster who was trembling slightly in the cage of ruby bones.

“C-Captain, please! I didn't do nothin’!” Punk Hamster all but whimpered.

“Oh yes. It sure looked like _nothing."_  The apparent captain drawled giving Punk Hamster a withering look.

“We're outta Snowdin lines! He's free EXP! A-and he's not your bro?” The last sentence sounded more like a question and the Papyrus look alike's crimson eyes met Sans before going back to Punk Hamster.

“Don't pull that shit with me.” The captain snarled and Sans blinked. It was so weird to hear that kind of language from someone with his brother's face, with his brother's _voice._  It was so harsh, angry, and just wrong. “You know the main road and sentry station are considered within bounds. What are you doing out here?” The captain demanded.

“S-sans owes me some gold…” Punk Hamster mumbled.

“Does he? Where is he?” The Papyrus asked looking disinterested staring at his gloved fingers which Sans just realized where sharpened into steel claws at the ends.

“I dunno! The free EXP was here instead!” Punk Hamster said staring at Sans sourly.

“Hmm. How much gold did my brother owe you?” The captain asked and Punk Hamster gave him a look of disbelief. Sans didn't blame him, the captain didn't look like someone who intended to pay his brother's debts, but maybe he was a Papyrus underneath it all? The thought made Sans smile some.

“20 G?” Punk Hamster said suspiciously.

“I see.” The captain said stepping forward, looking down at Punk Hamster, towering over him. “I'll make sure your next of kin receives it.”

“W-what!? Captain, no! _Please!"_

Punk Hamsters pleading fell on deaf ears as the dark Papyrus summoned a bone sword into his hand. The hilt was bone, and red magic made up the blade which was jagged and pointed. The dark Papyrus seemed more than ready to run Punk Hamster through. As a wave of killing intent left the dark Papyrus, Sans decided he had had just about enough.

_Ting._

Sans held out his control arm turning Punk Hamster's soul blue before lifting him from the bone cage and flinging him a good twenty feet away before releasing him into a snowpoff. If it disorientated him at all, Punk Hamster didn't show it. He broke into a run all but disappearing from view.

A feral like growl sounded sending chills up Sans's spine and it took him far too long to realize it came from the Papyrus reject in front of him.

Before Sans could even think to shortcut away a bony fist gripped the front of his hoodie, hoisting him into the air. Sans cried out in surprise and found himself face to face with the other skeleton, alarmingly close to all those sharp teeth.

“What the hell do you think you're doing!?” The dark Papyrus growled.

“Me? Just hanging around.” Sans shrugged trying to look nonchalant as he hung from the other's firm grasp.

The Papyrus's eyelights shrank in what looked like indignation, a snarl leaving the menacing skeleton.

“You-” the skeleton huffed looking outraged. “Who are you!?” He snarled. Sans grinned, despite his dangerous situation. He couldn't teleport with the other holding onto him he'd just take him with him. Lucky for Sans it seemed the angry Papyrus's curiosity won out over his rage at Sans for freeing his prey and Sans remained alive, for now. He intended to keep it that way.

“Sans. Sans the skeleton.” Sans said nonchalantly as if he wasn't trapped in the other's grasp. “But ya knew that. You checked me. Didn't anyone ever teach you it's rude to check other monsters outside of battle?”

The dark Papyrus stared at him not looking amused in the least. “Where is my brother?”

Sans shrugged grinning at the dark Papyrus. “I dunno, but, I'm wondering the same thing. You look like my bro, sound like him, but you definitely ain't him.” Sans said looking the formidable skeleton over. He was going to guess the other's brother looked a lot like Sans. He wondered if he too had sharp teeth red eyelights and a bad attitude. He couldn't picture it.

More importantly _where_ was Sans? Punk Hamster and Papyrus were both _wrong_ and neither recognized him as their Sans. His sentry station was full of mustard instead of ketchup. Sans got the idea it wasn't the dark Papyrus and jerk Punk Hamster that was out of place. _He_ was out of place.

The new Papyrus scowled at him before lowering him to the ground. Sans sighed in relief as his feet hit the ground only to gag as he was wrenched forward by his shirt collar that was still in the Papyrus's fist.

“H-hey!” Sans hissed as he stumbled forward and had to run to keep up with the other's long strides.

“Keep up or I'm going to drag you.” The dark Papyrus scoffed and Sans scowled up at him.

“Jerk!” Sans said, glaring at the other, digging his heels in the snow out of defiance. He didn't have the stamina to keep up he just needed the dark Papyrus to let go of him just for a second and he would be able to shortcut away.

The dark Papyrus scoffed giving a sharp tug pulling Sans along behind him like a stubborn dog on a leash. Sans crossed his arms heels dragging against the snow his back to the Papyrus as he was easily pulled along.

Sans was dragged for a few silent moments until they came to Doggo's station which all but confirmed for Sans that he was somewhere very different from home.

Doggo was immediately alert his all but blind eyes scanning them over. He adorned twin daggers and steel armor, dust coated his metallic gloves and Sans balked at the sight, glancing away. Doggo was hardly a threat in _his_ home.

“Captain!” Doggo saluted. The dog's nose twitched and he glanced at Sans as he was dragged through the snow behind the one he was saluting but he didn't say anything.Either he couldn't see Sans's predicament or it was a sight not out of the ordinary. The dark Papyrus gave Doggo the barest of nods and soon enough the guardsman was far behind them. Doggo had never been a serious member of the guard before, and wasn't the least bit dangerous, but this _version_ of him seemed _very_ dangerous.

It seemed dark Papyrus had every intention of dragging Sans all the way to Snowdin and it was starting to get uncomfortable, the way his shirt and hoodie pulled against his cervical vertebrae, the way the snow had seeped into his sneakers, freezing his feet. Yep. Enough of this.

Sans glared up at the captain who was looking ahead, not paying him any mind. Sans huffed before wriggling, pulling his shirt and hoodie off and landing in the snow. The captain came to a halt the moment his load lightened and Sans took a shortcut back about ten feet putting a good distance between them. Sans would have just shortcut away but he _needed_ his hoodie back.

The dark Papyrus slowly turned to stare at him giving Sans a look between frustration and genuine surprise. The captain's ruby eyelights slowly scanned the half naked skeleton and his cheekbones dusted a light rose.

“W-what the _hell_ do you think you're doing!?” The captain hissed, his voice wavering slightly. Sans raised a curious brow bone. Had he caught him off guard? Embarrassed him? Or did the dark Papyrus like what he was seeing? It was hard to say, and most definitely _not_ Sans's problem.

“Guess my _streak_ of bad luck has finally ended.” Sans said with a wink, causing the other to make a furious sound at the pun. “Why don't you give me my clothes and I'll get out of your hair?”

“We don't even have-” the dark Papyrus started angrily and he sighed narrowing his sockets at Sans. “Get back over here, you idiot.” The tone was sharp and clear. An order from someone who was clearly used to being obeyed. But it wasn’t like Sans to play by the rules, especially someone else's rules.

“Nah.” Sans said trying not to shiver from the cold. _But he was cold._ The air seemed far more frigid than it was back home and he was working hard to stop his teeth from clacking. He hadn't seen the town yet but after Punk Hamster, Doggo, and this twisted mockery of Paps, he could only assume he had stumbled into some kind of alternate universe or dimension. He was pretty damn sure the annoyed captain before him was proof in the, heh, _flesh_ of the multiverse theory.

A red bone with a jagged edge sailed about six inches from Sans's skull and Sans raised a single brow bone staring back at the Captain who stared at him unamused. Was that supposed to intimidate him?

“Uh, ya missed.” Sans said giving the Captain an unimpressed look.

The dark Papyrus didn't say anything slightly moving his wrist not even watching Sans, staring behind him.

Sans's sockets widened in realization. The Captain was still controlling the bone construct that had hurled past him. Sans turned too late as the jagged bone came back around sliding between his legs and spearing through the loop of his shoe lace and pulling, knocking Sans right on his spine and dragging his half naked bones through the slush and snow back towards the mirror of his brother. This is exactly why he usually wore slippers.

“No. I didn't miss.” Dark Papyrus said, hand closing down on Sans's wrist as his bone construct disintegrated into red dust.

Sans whined, his bones clacking as he shivered, snow and ice stuck in the spaces between the vertebrae of his spine. _Okay. Now he was_ **_really_ ** _cold._ The Captain pulled Sans up, shaking him slightly, dislodging some of the ice and slush that had gathered in Sans’s ribcage.

The captain scoffed, another soft glow dusted his cheekbones as his eyelights darted away from Sans. That was strange. Before Sans could comment he squawked as his shirt and  hoodie were unceremoniously stuffed over his skull and his arms tugged hard through is sleeves, the other skeleton re-dressing him roughly.

“H-hey!” Sans whined.

“You moron! Are you trying to get yourself killed? Or worse?” The captain hissed frowning as he tugged at Sans’s hoodie, flattening out the wrinkles and straightening the article of clothing. “Do you have any survival instincts at all!?”

“I don’t need to be dressed like a baby bones!” Sans whined, trying to bat the large red gloved hands away. He might as well have been a kitten batting the taller away for all the good it seemed to do.  “No need to _strip_ me of my dignity!”

“As if you have any!” The captain huffed, cheekbones still slightly flushed. Sans frowned up at the taller with a frown. He couldn’t figure this guy out. He had been the one who had dragged Sans through the snow! Now he was the one worried if he was cold? It wasn’t like the cold could _actually_ kill him, the taller skeleton was definitely over reacting. At least, it would take a very long time for Sans to succumb to the elements.

“I wasn’t gonna freeze to death.” Sans huffed trying to tug away from the taller skeleton but his grip was like iron. The captain scoffed before hauling Sans over his shoulder as if he weighed nothing and Sans shrieked as he was tossed, his arms hanging down to the Captain’s middle, his legs over the captain’s shoulders.

“H-hey!” Sans cried out, frowning as they began moving, his magic rushing to his skull from the upside down position. “Put me down!” Sans growled smacking his palm against the captain’s back and hissed, the steel breastplate stinging his hand.

“What in Asgore’s name is _wrong_ with you!?” The captain hissed, his long strides causing Sans’s skull to bounce slightly against him. Sans growled again and tried to kick his legs, to no avail, the captain’s grip only tightened around his legs, and he adjusted his shoulder slightly bumping Sans’s pelvis and causing him to fall forward another inch with a surprised cry.

“Nothing!” Sans growled. “I’m not the monster _kidnapping_ people!”

“Taking your clothes off like that!” The captain continued, ignoring Sans. “Were you trying to get yourself taken? You’d fetch a high price at Muffet’s, you know. Bright eyes and a skeleton. Stars, there's not a scar on your fucking body is there!? I’m half tempted to sell you myself. How you have survived this long being _this stupid_ is beyond me!”

“What- what does that even mean?” Sans demanded baffled. What would Muffet want with _him?_ His eyelights weren’t that bright and, sure, skeletons were rare but what would anyone want to buy one for!? This jerk was making no sense!

The captain paused, staring at Sans over his shoulder, his crimson eyelights betraying no emotion. Another scoff left him. “I can’t tell if you’re incredibly stupid or just sheltered and naive.” He grumbled.

“I'm not any of that!” Sans huffed squirming futilely as the dark Papyrus picked up his brisk pace again.

Sans crossed his arms when the dark Papyrus didn't reply and glared at the falling snow and path behind them. This really wasn't how he expected today to go.

Soon enough they must have reached the outskirts of Snowdin because the tall captain came to a stop, only to pull Sans’s hood over his skull.

“Hey!”

“Leave that up.” The tall skeleton commanded.

Sans huffed, sockets narrowing. If he was going to be kidnapped against his will he most certainly was _not_ going to follow his captor’s rules. Sans defiantly pushed his hood back down after the captain had picked up his pace again.

A low growl left the captain, and Sans’s hood was once more pulled over his skull, before the strings were pulled and tied tightly by the erate captain.

“H-hey!” Sans hissed squirming to no avail. He couldn't see anything!

The captain adjusted Sans so that the arm that was holding him over the taller skeleton’s shoulder also held Sans’s wrists together in a vice like grip.

“Disobedient little shit.” The Papyrus grumbled as Sans huffed, squirming trying to free himself to no avail.

Sans could no longer see where they were going and despite his best escape attempts including biting, flailing, kicking and even yelling he remained captured.

Soon enough they entered a building, the door slamming shut loudly behind them. Sans's wrists were released and he untied the strings of his hoodie pulling his hood down with a huff taking in his surroundings.

Sans frowned. It was his and Paps house. _But it wasn't._  The purple and green rug had been changed to black and orange. The walls bore heavy cracks and were a dull grey color. The pet rock was covered in nails, the TV was significantly smaller, and the green lumpy couch bore heavy tears as if an animal had clawed it. The layout was the same and there was a lone sock on the floor signifying this strange mirror world must have a Sans. If he was half the jerk this world's Papyrus was Sans still didn't wanna meet him.

Dark Papyrus put him down keeping a firm grip on Sans's wrist.

“Where is my brother.” He demanded scowling down at him.

“I told ya, I don't know.” Sans said trying to tug his wrist free to get out of the other's grasp, but this Papyrus's grip was like iron.

“Who are you? Where are you from? Why do you have my brother's name and look like him?” The captain asked.

“You already know my name's Sans. We had this conversation already. I have a brother with your name, looks like you, with better manners less sharp teeth.” Sans huffed giving his wrist one more tug despite the futility of his attempt to escape.

The captain growled down at him eyelights misting crimson magic. “Where are you _from._  Are you a robot? Did Alphys build you? Or Perhaps you're a clone?” Edge questioned his voice dripping with acid.

"Nope, just a skeleton. From the underground.” Sans said with a cheeky grin completely unaffected by the blaring danger signs in front of him.

“I see. I will be forced to loosen your tongue then.” The captain said with a sneer, his grip around Sans's wrist tightening. Sans debated the pros and cons of sticking said tongue out, settling on not sticking it out, for now.

“I'd get honest if I were you.” The captain said pulling Sans easily out the door and towards the shed. “I have no qualms about forcing the truth from you.”

“Ain't lying.” Sans said digging his heels into the snow as he was pulled roughly. This version of his brother had absolutely no chill. The guy was seriously on edge. Sans's eyelights brightened. He'd call him Edge. He could make so many puns out of that and there was no way in the underground he was going to call him Papyrus.

Edge unlocked the shed door which locked from the outside, unlike Sans's shed, and he pulled Sans in.

Sans immediately frowned taking in his surroundings. If Edge had indeed stumbled out of a bad S&M porno this was the set it was filmed at, and fuck was it kinky. Or just plain terrifying, Sans wasn’t sure which.

The walls were lined with various tools and implements, none of which looked friendly. Whips, pliers, thumbscrews, bone saws, and a branding iron were just a few of the horrors that hung from the walls. Nevermind the shackles, chains, and instruments Sans couldn’t even identify. He might have seen something like them in one of Alphys’s horror animes or his worst nightmares, hard to say. His nightmares tended to be more of the medical torture variety with syringes and smug doctors thrown out of space-time. Granted the occasional nightmare involved a certain small human child with a face splitting smile and a bloody knife.

Edge shut the door tightly behind him and dragged Sans over to the wall where several - well, San’s wasn’t sure what they were. Ugly leather bracelets? Where several ugly leather bracelets were hanging on hooks among the disturbing collection of interrogation tools and implements.

“Yeah, nope!” Sans said beginning to run in place, Edge’s grasp was firm as ever, still squeezing around his wrist, stopping him from making even the barest bit of progress.

“I did warn you.” Edge said with no sympathy, grabbing one of the ugly leather bracelets and clasping it around Sans’s wrist and pulling the buckle. It was only on closer inspection did Sans see that it had a star damned lock on it.

_The fuck?_

Edge hummed in thought, picking up a pair of pliers before slamming Sans non to gently against the wall. _Ow._

“Okay, yeah, nope. I’m done with this.” Sans said lifting his control hand to summon a blaster. But it never came. Sans stared in complete confusion. Where was his blaster? What had Edge done to him? Sans’s eyelights shifted to the thin leather locked around his wrist.

“It’s a magic dampener.” Edge said sounding far too pleased with himself. Sans blinked. He’d never heard of a magic dampener before and he didn’t much like the sound of it. Magic dampeners didn't exist back home, but it was clear enough what it did, it was in the name. It was restricting Sans’s magic, at least to a certain point. He was _made_ of magic, so it certainly wasn’t restricting all of it, but, he couldn’t even summon a simple bone construct, Asgore’s flowers, he was trying to. For the first time in a long time panic clawed at Sans’s soul while he was awake. He’d almost forgotten what fear felt like with his sockets open.

“I’m going to ask one more time. Where are you from?” Edge said, looking bored, the silver pliers ominously mocking Sans from the captain’s gloved hand.

“Snowdin.” Sans said with a grin. Because even if he was afraid of what this twisted version of his brother was going to do to him, he wasn’t giving this asshole the satisfaction of knowing it. He was far too stubborn for that and had a reputation of not giving a shit to uphold.

Edge scoffed and gripped Sans’s mandible hard, holding Sans against the wall and above the ground by the hand against his mandible alone. Edge’s grip tightened, forcing Sans’s mouth open and with a pang of dread Sans realized the pliers were getting far too close to the shit eating grin he was gracing Edge with.

“H-hey now let’s just put the pliers down and have a conversation like two rational adults!” Sans said placing his hands up. Edge scoffed, the pliers closing around Sans’s top incisor. Okay. Yeah. He was not letting this go any farther. He couldn’t use his magic, but he still had his limbs. He kicked Edge right in the chin with his foot, once again thankful he'd chosen sneakers today. Edge grunted his head turning from the force of the blow.

Edge if anything looked impressed, as if Sans’s stubborn fight even in the face of futility had earned some small sliver of respect. It was far from the shocked and pissed expression Sans had been hoping for.

“Insolent little shit.” Edge scoffed before raising a single leather clad knee, pinning both of Sans’s legs to the wall with it as if Sans’s best efforts were a minor inconvenience. Edge released Sans’s mandible in favor of gripping Sans’s flailing arms that were making pathetic attempts at punching the scantily clad brother reject in front of him. Iron shackles clamped around Sans’s wrists with practiced ease. Now that Sans was more effectively pinned and couldn’t fight back Edge had his claws digging into his mandible again, forcing Sans’s mouth back open. If he’d put his fingers just a little closer San’s would bite them, but it seemed Edge had suspected Sans’s plan because the fingers were just out of reach.

Sans hissed like a cat squirming in defiance because he could do nothing else. Edge once again came dangerously close with the pliers when an ominous ringtone sounded. Both skeletons froze, before Edge pulled out his flip phone. A look Sans read as relief passed over the other’s crimson eyelights.

“Sans!” Edge snapped answering. “Where the fuck are you!?”

Sans couldn’t hear the other’s reply, but he could only assume it was indeed Edge’s brother on the other line. Sans’s soul sank. If the Papyrus of this world was trying to rip his tooth out and had a creepy torture shed, what was the Sans of this world gonna be like?

 _Nothing good,_ his mind supplied. He knew himself, and if the Papyrus of this place was this nasty, the Sans was going to be much, much worse.

“Well get your ass home!” Edge yelled into the phone, reaching a volume that would make Sans’s own brother jealous. “We have a situation!” Edge hung up the cellphone scowling before glaring at Sans as if Sans’s presence was a taxing and inconvenient experience and a personal offense to him. It probably was.

Thankfully, by some star given miracle, Edge put down the pliers. “Stay.” Edge snapped, as if Sans had a choice and the captain stormed out of the torture shed leaving Sans alone.

Sans frowned his feet scraping against the wall in a failed attempt to find his footing. He was shackled to the wall, his feet dangling at least an inch above the ground and it was starting to get very uncomfortable. The metal clasps of the shackles were tight against his wrists, and his mandible ached from Edge’s firm grip. At least he still had all his pearly whites. Thank the stars for small mercies.

Sans pushed his feet against the wall, using all his stamina to try and break the shackles from the wall, but no such luck. Damn. If someone had told him this morning he’d be kidnapped by some leather clad emo reject of his brother and shackled to his sex dungeon/shed wall, he’d have punched them right in the eye. But here he was. Fuck.

It wasn’t too much longer before a faint smell of ozone notified him that his edgy doppelganger must have entered the shed and Sans looked around for prince uncharming himself.

He expected the sharp teeth and red eyes after meeting Edge, though he was caught off guard by how intense his twin was staring at him. As if the other him were peeling back Sans’s layers, seeing how he ticked. It gave him the creeps. No wonder the kid was scared of him half the time. The golden canine threw him off, and brought back his own near miss of losing his own tooth. He wondered if this Sans lost his tooth from his terrible brother? Maybe Edge had a thing for taking teeth? No. Even in a world as seemingly violent as this one, the one universe constant was Sans and Papyrus were there for each other. The other Sans slowly grinned, showing off his other sharp teeth, pulling his hands from his leather jacket pockets. A crack adorned this Sans’s skull and despite the smile - it wasn’t friendly.

“Anyone tell ya you got a face only a mother could love?” The other Sans said, voice rough and amused. But Sans knew himself. He knew that easy tone and that it was anything but laid back. This Sans was talking to him like Sans talked to the kid. Like he was a danger. Like he’d put him down without hesitation if he showed the right cards.

Sans gave the same laid back smile. “Hey now, that aint fair. I got a great personality.” Sans said with a wink. The other him, the red him, laughed. Sans tried not to pay too much attention to those sharp teeth, especially the golden one as he laughed.

“Sure ya do.” The red Sans said. Sans decided to call him Red. Hey. No one ever accused Sans of being creative. “So, Mr.Personality. Where the fuck did ya come from lookin’ like that?” The question is innocent enough but there is an underlying threat. Red views _him_ as a threat. He can see it in the posture, the way Red won't look away. Sizing Sans up. What was it Edge had demanded earlier? Asking Sans if he were a clone or a robot?

“I told your bro, Snowdin. But my Snowdin's nicer. More Gyftmas lights, less kidnapping and attempted murder. Folks are friendly. No one tried to rip my tooth out.”

“Aw, don’t be like that. Boss was just sayin’ hello. Seems ta me yer trying to sell me a load of bullshit. Ya wanna see how I say hello?” Red’s grin was absolutely feral.

Sans wasn’t sure he wanted to see in the least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Sans](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zq6fBkinjZc) has no sense of self preservation and is painfully stubborn. <3


	2. Hanging Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans hangs out with Red and continues to be a little shit. None of us are surprised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! This is a lot more popular than I expected! Thank you all for the comments, I am glad people are enjoying my little present fic!

“Nah, that’s alright. Dramatic shortcut entrances are hello enough.” Sans said giving Red the same easy grin Red was giving him. They had the same poker face after all.

“Heh.” Red dug through his jacket pocket pulling out a cigarette, lighting it. “Gotta ask,” Red said taking a deep drag, “ya think torturing you for information counts as self harm?”

“Might be a question for your therapist.” Sans said easily, pulling against his shackles with renewed energy at the word torture. Evil clone is worse than evil Papyrus clone, confirmed. Red actually laughed at that, a sharp bark of amusement escaped those shark like teeth and a quick dance of mirth flashed across his eyelights before Red reigned in his emotions.

“Cute.”

“Narcissist.” Sans accused, giving the shackles another sharp tug. “But hey, you seem like a smart guy. If it counts as self harm, that means you at least suspect I’m you. Not some dumb clone or robot.” Sans pointed out.

Red didn’t say anything, blowing out smoke from his nasal passage in way of an answer.

“Because I'm not lying. My name is Sans and I'm from Snowdin. But not _this_ Snowdin.” Sans continued watching Red carefully.

“The multiverse theory huh?” Red said looking Sans over.

“Only explanation I can think of.” Sans shrugged or at least he tried to. The whole hanging from his shackled wrists made it difficult.

“When I fell asleep my Papyrus was calibrating puzzles in my nice happy little universe. I woke up here to some guy you owe money to and your angry brother. I actually thought we had switched places and you were in my universe.” Sans admitted. Sans was actually rather glad Red hadn't been sent to his universe. Stars knew he didn't look friendly. If Sans could use his magic he'd run a check, he was certain Red had LOVE. He didn't want that kind of monster anywhere near his brother. Especially wearing his face.

Sans huffed as he felt Red run a check of his own. Red grunted his ruby eyelights giving Sans a piercing stare.

“Say I believe ya. Does that mean yer bros’ here too?” Red asked looking disinterested which told Sans that Red was at least curious, if he were anything like Sans, which Sans had to assume he was.

Sans froze, his mouth going dry once Red's words actually registered. _Papyrus. Here?_

“Stars I hope not.” Sans whispered. This universe seemed rough even from what very little of it Sans had seen. He _needed_ his brother not to be here. He needed him to be safe at home.

“Geeze, kid. Didn't mean to give ya a heart attack. I'm sure yer bro is still in yer wimpy sounding universe.” Red said with a raised brow bone. He must have read the blind panic that had surely stricken Sans's face.

Sans really hoped that was true and that his brother wasn’t here. “Not a kid.” Sans mumbled. If they were the same person, they were the same age and neither of them were kids.

“So ya fell asleep and woke up here?” Red asked sounding skeptical, ignoring Sans's declaration of adulthood.

“Yep.” Sans said popping the 'p’. “At my sentry station.” Had his sentry station turned into some portal to the worlds of the multiverse? If so he needed to get back to Red's station to see if it worked both ways to make sure Papyrus was home and safe. Well as safe as he ever got with a time resetting homicidal human child on the loose anyway.

Now that Sans thought about it, ending up in an alternate universe wasn't the strangest thing to happen to him. The permanent scar from shoulder to hip bone across his rib cage from dying more times than he can count probably still ranks as number one on the weird shit-o-meter.

“Hm.” Red said noncommittally putting his cigarette out against the wall. “Yer really not giving me much to believe here, kid.”

Sans frowned and observed Red, glancing over the sharp teeth, the golden tooth, the red collar at his cervical vertebrae. They were so different. But they were the same person. More than just physically they had to have other similarities, their differences due to differences in what happened to them over the span of a lifetime. Different experiences, same starting point. He just had to tell Red something only Red knew. Something only Sans any Sans in a world with an underground would know.

“I can prove I'm you.” Sans said with an easy smile. Red raised a single curious brow bone looking unimpressed.

“That so?”

“Hows good old Dr.G? Did yours _fall_ into the CORE too?” Sans asked carefully.

Red flinched as if struck and he sucked in a breath, as if steeling himself against painful memories. Sans wondered if that worked, it never had for him.

“No one remembers Dr.Gaster, right? Just you. Just me.” Sans said banking on the hope that he hadn't fallen into one of the universes G _didn't_ get pushed face first into the core by his least favorite test subject.

Red winced at the name and shoved his hands into his jacket pockets before he gave a humorless chuckle.

“Heh. Guess you really are me. A pansy ass version anyways.” Red said with a sharp grin.

“I think that's a little unfair.” Sans said. But let Red think what he wanted. It was no skin off his nose. Sans smiled at his own joke.

“Would ya prefer little bitch?” Red teased.

“Only on Thursday nights.” Sans said without missing a beat and he smirked as Red choked. Sans preened with satisfaction and smirked at the dirty look Red shot his way.

“Had to pay my tab some way.” Sans said with a wink. Seemed Red had a fling with Grillbz back in the day too. He wondered what other similarities they shared?

“Anyway fiery romances aside, we both can't be called Sans, so I've dubbed you Red.” Sans said.

“Red?” Red demanded. “Well that's fuckin’ stupid. Guess I'll call you Blue. And what do we call boss? Red 2? Crimson? How about we call annoying dog White and lesser dog Smaller White and greater dog Big White. Holy shit yer worse at naming than fuckin’ Asgore is!”

“You can call your bro whatever pet names you like and I'm sure the canine unit would go for it. Can call Dogaressa and Dogamy Monochrome 1 and 2.  I'm calling your bro Edge, by the way.” Sans said more than a little amused at Red's scathing sarcasm. Sans rarely used his own sarcasm as his brother was prone to taking things very literally but he could appreciate Red's.

Red was silent for a moment, a smile tugging at his mandible. “Well he _is_ on edge.” Red said and he winked.

Sans grinned as if Gyftmas had come early. “See? Think of the puntential!”

“That was terrible.” Red said with a snicker.

“You're laughing.” Sans remarked.

“Yer just lucky I got a shitty sense of humor.” Red said shaking his skull. “Multiverse theory...Toriel's Tits this is not how I expected my Monday to go.” Red sighed, one eyelight going out, the other misting crimson magic as Red gazed at Sans intensely, causing Sans to shiver. Sans raised a browbone.

“Like what you see?” Sans asked giving Red a shit eating grin. Red was doing more than checking Sans this time, Red was _judging_ Sans. Sans himself being the judge of Undertale, should have known Red would have the same ability.

Sans shifted as much as he could from his restrained position. “You’re kind of creeping me out.” Sans had never been on this side of a judgement before and he had to say, he was not a fan. It felt like his most personal parts were being invaded, his layers slowly peeled back and being glossed over with no regard for privacy.

“Huh. Well _that’s_ interesting.” Red said and with that remark, Red stepped into a shortcut, leaving Sans alone and to wonder what, exactly, was interesting?

***

Red exited the shortcut straight into his living room where Edge was waiting arms crossed and a look of deep thought on his face, wrinkling the bone between his sockets.

“Well?” Edge demanded his crimson eyelights landing on Red.

“I mean, I ain't no scientist but I think he's me.” Red shrugged. “Oh wait. Does being an ex scientist count?”

Edge face palmed, silently begging the angel for the strength to not throw Red out the nearest window.

“I can _see_ he's you, Sans!” Edge said impatiently. “Where is he from? What is he? A clone? A robot? And I swear to Asgore, if you say a skeleton I'm going to carve Undyne a new tea set from your fucking bones!”

“Bone china _is_ classy.” Red said, sweat beginning to form on his brow as Edge gave him an unamused look.

“ _Sans_.”

“A-anyway, he's me. Really. Not a clone or robot, he's literally me from another universe.” Red tried to explain. Edge stared at him as if Red had told him King Asgore had adopted a herd of kittens.

“Another universe?” Edge said flatly looking at Red with complete disbelief.

“Ya ever heard of the multiverse theory?” Red asked with a nervous smile.

“You've rambled about it from time to time, usually while drunk. It sounds like complete nonsense; Science fiction.” Edge said crossing his arms.

“Well it was just a theory, till’ today. Think we just proved it. He ain't lyin’. He's a version of me, he has a brother named Papyrus, and he lives in the underground. Just not ours.” Red explained.

Still looking skeptical, Edge sighed beginning to pace back and forth in front of the couch.

“Ya gonna kill him?” Red asked neutrally shoving his hands in his pockets.

Edge paused in his pacing once more looking deep in thought. _Don't hurt yourself, Boss._ Red thought with a grin. He wasn't sure he'd ever seen his impulsive brother stop and think unless it was strategizing for battle. Red was sure he'd see smoke coming out of his skull at this rate.

“Did you see his LOVE?” Edge asked with a frown.

“Yeah, one. Rare for a monster his age.” Red said. “He mentioned his universe is nicer than here. It sounds soft.” Red shrugged.

“So others in his universe have low LOVE?” Edge said raising a brow bone.

“Probably.” Red said not sure in the least where Boss was going with this.

“Did you judge him?” Edge asked.

“Yep.” Red said sitting on the couch.

“And?” Edge snapped.

“And he drinks ketchup. It's disgusting. A crime against nature.” Red said making a face. “So what are we gonna do with him?”

Edge sighed deeply. It seemed the angel was not smiling upon Red today because Red's potential journey out the nearest window was growing more and more tempting.

“Did you see anything useful?” Edge asked glaring at his brother.

“Not really.” Red said. It wasn't quite a lie. Interesting? Most definitely. Useful? Nah.

“And he has no idea how he came here?” Edge asked.

“He said he was sleepin’ on the job and woke up here.” Red shrugged. Edge made a disgusted noise.

“Sleeping!? Of course he fucking was.” Edge gave Red an accusing glare and Red smiled nervously sweat once again beading on the top of his skull.

Edge scoffed and crossed his arms glaring out the window at the shed. “So we don't know how to access where he came from then?” Edge asked. Red raised a brow bone.

“Nah. Why? Wanna send him home? Didn't know ya were so sentimental, Boss.” Red snickered.

Edge scoffed and rolled his eyelights. “No, dumbass. I want to scout it. See it for myself. See if we can arrange a trade route for resources like food.” Edge said.

“If they're all level one, could conquer them easily. Just take their stuff for ourselves.” Red said raising a brow bone. Edge scowled at Red.

“There is no honor in that! I have standards, whelp!” Edge said firmly.

“And yer still alive cuz I don't.” Red countered. It wasn't that Edge didn't dirty his hands. He did, he just didn't do it unless he absolutely had to. Last resort kind of thing. Red, well, when he saw an opportunity he took it. Especially as a teenager trying to take care of his little brother. He'd done everything he could to keep his brother safe, nothing was too far or too dirty if it meant Edge's life.

Edge scoffed and shook his skull. “Yes you egotistical asshole I'm quite aware. Could we go one day without you bringing that up?”

“Aw boss, come on, I'm just preening with pride over here about my little brother. Made Captain. Warms my corroded and frozen soul an’ all that.” Red snickered as Edge rolled his eyelights but he almost looked amused.

Red knew his brother well. A little bit of praise or recognition of 'greatness' went a hell of a long way.

“So what we gonna do with the universe hopper in the shed?” Red asked.

Edge made a face. “I haven't decided.”

“I say we kill him and be done with it. Better yet, sell him to Muffet. Ain't a scar on him and he's a Bright Eyes too. We'd make a small fortune and ya know we need the gold.” Red said evenly.

“We aren't selling him.” Edge scoffed crossing his arms. Although Edge had half a mind to sell the troublesome little troll himself, he was Captain of the royal guard. He was above slave trade. The only reason he hadn't shut down Muffet's deplorable business is because the King himself forbade Edge from doing so. It seemed King Fluffybuns enjoyed sampling Muffet's _sweets_ a little too much. Disgusting.

“Aight. So we're killin’ him?” Red asked.

“No! He hasn't committed any crimes. I can't kill him just for being a pain in the ass. If I could you'd be out of my hair.” Edge said with no real bite. Red grinned.

“I hair what you're saying Boss, but hair me out. We can hardly afford to feed ourselves. Hell I can't afford to pay attention half the time. If ya don't sell him or dust him what do ya plan to do?”

Edge groaned as if physically pained by the puns. “We'll keep him as a guest. For now. See if we can find a way to send him home, and if so, negotiate trade.”

“By guest ya mean kidnappee, right? I don't trust that smiley fucker free to roam the house while we're sleep.” Red said with a mutinous frown.

“He has a LOVE of one, Sans! There's no reason to detain him in the shed.” Edge scoffed.

“If he didn't have my face you'd be leaving him in the shed an’ ya know it.” Red countered with a scowl. Honestly his brother was too trusting and too good for this world. “He ain't me boss. Don't show your back to him. He'll stick a knife in.”

Edge scoffed. “He has one HoPe, no EXP and no LOVE. What is he going to do Sans? Sneeze on me?”

Red gave Edge a flat look. _He has a shit ton of EXP. But no LOVE._ But he wasn't going to share that strange anomaly. “I don't trust him Boss. You should know a low LOVE low HP monster shouldn't be underestimated.” Red said. _Red shouldn't be underestimated._ Which meant their guest in the shed shouldn't be underestimated either.

“He's a Sans. Ya don't know what he's capable of. Can't be trusted. He might be me but he ain't yer bro.” Red said firmly.

Edge snorted. “I'm quite aware. He's not nearly as annoying as you. You're not being replaced, asshole.” Was Red jealous? That was star damn adorable. Red scoffed.

“That's- I know that! What I'm sayin’ is the only thing he cares about is his Papyrus. Ya can't trust him as far as ya can throw him! We should just kick him out. Not our problem.” Red said with a huff crossing his arms.

“I could throw him pretty far.” Edge said looking amused. “And he'll be dusted out there and ya know it.” Edge scoffed.

“Careful, Boss. That Hotlands street kid accent is slippin’ through.” Red snickered and Edge scowled.

“Shut up!  He's staying. The potential resources his world could offer are too valuable to waste.” Edge said with finality the slip of accent fading.

“Aye, aye, cap'n.” Red said with a sarcastic salute and a roll of his crimson eyelights. Seconds later Red found himself thrown out the open door and landing face first into the nearest snowpoff. It seemed Edge could throw _Red_ pretty far too.

***

The cuffs were really starting to chafe Sans's bones. He wondered if he could make a sexual innuendo out of that? Or was it one already? He'd have to try it out on Edge. _I don't mean to hang around, but, my bones are really chafing. Ya wanna help a skeleton out_ ? Hm not obvious enough. _Hey Edge, you're really chafing my bones here._ Yes that'd do nicely. He might even make the hard (heh) skeleton lose his composure. Get all flustered. Edge might even let Sans go and then he'd proceed to kick Edge in the knee and shortcut back to Red's station to get the hell out of here. A flawless plan, seduce the enemy.

He wasn't sure how long it'd been since Edgy Mc My Chemical Romance and his gold toothed pimp left. At least an hour.

The doorknob began to jingle but the door didn't open. As if a bored cat was smacking the doorknob. Or perhaps a tall edgy skeleton was fighting with the key? Sans snickered softly at the thought of Edge twisting and turning a key that refused to work. He wondered if he'd try to intimidate it into submission?

The door finally popped open and a mess of tangled brown hair and black and red striped shirt tumbled in with a torn and worn backpack.

“Really Sans? In the fucking shed again? What'd you do this time? Don't tell me you got shitfaced and tossed your cookies onto Papyrus's ugly boots again?” The child snickered swatting the matt of brown hair from their dark eyes. The child was grinning but the grin vanished as they took Sans in. “You're not Sans.”

Sans's perma smile twitched upwards. “Geeze kid ya lost your sanses? Gotta hold onto them!” Sans winked.

The kid snorted before breaking off into soft peals of laughter. Sans chuckled. Damn, This kid was nothing like his kid. Surely they were the same kid but this kid emoted, was alive, _spoke_. Like his kid _used_ to be. His kid shambled from place to place armed with a glinting knife and covered in dust.

Once, many resets ago, his kid had been a kid. Had laughed and joked and lead the monsters to the surface. Way before Sans had ever been forced to execute them. It seemed this more foul mouthed version of Frisk hadn't gotten bored yet. Hadn't reset to the point of becoming a mindless demon. He could work with this.

“But I am Sans. Sans the skeleton. I'm just more handsome and better mannered than the one you're used to.” Sans said with a wink.

“Shorter too.” Frisk said.

“Heh. Dunno about that. Seems like his temper is mighty short.” Sans said and Frisk giggled.

“Me and yer Sans figured I'm him, but, from a different universe. Got a Frisk there too. Ain't as colorful as you.” Sans continued. Frisk hummed in thought and nodded as if that made perfect sense. Kids. They were so accepting. Then again this Frisk fell into a hole in a mountain that lead to a population of what they probably thought were mythical creatures where they have the power to rewind time, reset. Were different universes really a stretch?

“Since I'm cooler, obviously, I'm calling myself Sans and your Sans, Red. I know. The creative genius I have is truly a gift. Oh and I'm calling your Papyrus, Edge.”

Frisk raised a single eyebrow. “Papyrus won't like that.” Frisk said.

“Makes it even better.” Sans said with a wink. “Hey kid, how'd you get in here anyways?”

Frisk proudly held up a copper wire, a pin, and a bent paperclip. Sans grinned.

“Innovative. Think ya can help a skeleton out, buddy? As much as I love hanging around I gotta get going.” Sans motioned to his shackled wrists with his skull.

Frisk hummed to themself, looking deep in thought. “Papyrus doesn't like it when I let his prisoners go.”

“That happen a lot? If so Edge needs to rethink his whole dungeon set up starting with getting a better lock for his door.” Sans said. Frisk snorted and they walked over standing on their tiptoes. Unfortunately, they were still too short to reach the iron shackles binding Sans's wrists.

Frisk burrowed their brow in thought before they jumped holding onto the thin iron chain and scrambled up to sit on Sans's shoulders like a rabid squirrel. The added weight caused the shackles to pull against Sans's wrists painfully and he grunted.

Frisk began to pick the locks one at a time for each wrist and soon enough Sans landed on his feet, Frisk tumbling off him and onto the floor.

“How many times ya done that before, kid?” Sans asked rubbing his sore wrists. Frisk had gotten them off with practiced ease.

“Lost count.” Frisk said with a smug look and Sans held out a hand to help the kid up. Frisk took it and climbed to their feet.

“Thanks kid. Alright, its a jailbreak. Lets get outta here.” Sans said with a grin.

 

***

There was no where good to fit this in, but, this is what Red saw when he judged Sans:

 

**Sans Serif  
**

**LV:** 1

 **EXP** : 320,000

 **HP:** 1/1

 **ATK:** 1

 **DEF:** 1

 **WEAPON:** None

 **Armor:** hoodie and basketball shorts

 **Gold:** 22G

 **Sexual Orientation:** Straight as a circle

 **SOUL trait** : Patience

 **Magic:** blue

 **Favorite condiment** : Ketchup

**-C R I M E S-**

**attempted murder of ~~W~~.** **D**. ~~G~~ _~~A~~ **~~S~~ tER.** _

**Cheats at cards.  
**

**-Facts-**

* Suffers from chronic nightmares

 ***** Works odd jobs

 ***** Would do anything for his brother

 ***** Doesn’t trust you

 ***** Is more powerful than he looks

 ***** Don’t trust him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, stage left, enter Frisk!
> 
> I'm sure it'll be fine. Frisk can give [Sans](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eb1TIGvvWWE) a tour of Snowdin, he can meet the locals, grab a burg from Grillby's, it'll be a grand old time ;)
> 
> Update plans: Every *looks at calendar*- Every other Sunday until graduation, than, hopefully, every Sunday. *gives thumbs up*


End file.
